Introduction

Why do people think that parents, especially mothers, should choose only one role in life - being a primary caregiver - and abandon all other interests and hobbies? This article explores the societal pressures and misconceptions surrounding parental interests and hobbies, providing insights into the realities of modern family life.

Challenging the Norm

Some individuals in the community cannot resist judging others' parenting and lifestyles. These judgments are often based on misunderstandings and biases rather than reality. It's important to recognize that such opinions stem from a place of unhappiness and a need to enforce their own misunderstandings on others. We should not allow such negativity to influence our views on parenting and individual happiness.

Personal Experiences

When my partner and I were starting our relationship, we participated in various activities and pursued shared hobbies. Family and friends would often advise us to "enjoy it while you can" or "say goodbye to this when you have children." These comments are indicative of the common narrative that once a couple has children, they must abandon their personal interests and hobbies.

However, these admonishments are often misguided. Such comments stem from a lack of understanding about the changing priorities in life when children enter the picture. While it's true that a higher priority is now given to the safety and enjoyment of children, this doesn't mean that the parents must eliminate all other interests. Personal fulfillment and maintaining hobbies are still important for emotional and mental well-being.

The Gender Divide

The expectation that mothers must focus solely on their children is a gendered issue. Fathers, on the other hand, are often seen as still pursuing their hobbies and interests even after having children. This is primarily due to societal norms and expectations.

In general, mothers are perceived as having no other identity beyond being a mother, whereas men are not. Women are often criticized if they step outside of this expectation. This assigns them a one-dimensional role and ignores their personal and professional aspirations. The societal pressure on mothers to relinquish their personal interests and hobbies is a manifestation of these outdated expectations.

Realities of Changing Roles

The reality is that the needs and interests of a family change over time. When children are younger, they require more time and energy from their parents. However, as children grow and develop their own interests and friendships outside the home, the parents' time and energy can be reallocated to other hobbies and interests. This natural shift in roles allows parents to maintain their personal fulfillment without compromising the well-being of their children.

For example, when I moved to France with my family, we encountered the societal norm that women should cease to exist as autonomous individuals once they become mothers. This pressure was particularly evident when we explained that our children wereadultsand had started their own families. Such expectations are outdated and unfair. Women and men should be free to arrange their family life and personal interests in a way that makes sense for them.

Resisting Societal Pressures

It's crucial to recognize that we have the power to shape our own lives and challenge these outdated expectations. By forging a new path, we can create a world where women are not beholden to the traditional role of motherhood alone.

We can decide for ourselves how to balance our family life with other interests and demands. It's important to resist the criticism from those who hold these outdated role expectations. Instead, we should build a community of like-minded individuals who support and inspire each other to live fuller, more balanced lives.

Conclusion

Parenting is a multifaceted role, and parents should not be confined to a single identity. Mothers, in particular, are often subject to immense societal pressure to abandon their personal interests and hobbies. But this pressure is outdated and unfair. By challenging these norms and forging new paths, we can create a world where parents are free to pursue their own interests and hobbies while also fulfilling their roles as dedicated parents.