Navigating Emotions: Detaching from Your Mother’s Words

Say the following and understand that feelings are always going to be attached BOTH ways. This means your mom's feelings need to be dealt with as well. Don't back down if she shows strong emotion just as she should not back down when you show strong emotion.

Understanding the Importance of Emotional Dialogue

The following technique was taught to me by my therapist at a time when my ex and I were having problems communicating with each other about our son. He kept threatening to drag me through the courts if I did not do what he wanted.

You would say: “Mom, when you say whatever she is saying or doing, it makes me feel whatever you are feeling. This should open up a dialog between the two of you to help better understanding and to better communicate with each other.

Applying the Technique: An Example with My Ex

I tried this with my ex by saying: “Bob, when you say you will take me back to court to force me to do things with our son that I don't agree should be done, I feel you are saying I'm a bad mother and that you want to destroy me.”

My ex was flabbergasted! He told me he never would think I was a bad mother and he apologized for threatening me. It had not occurred to him that taking me back to court to fight for custody could destroy me financially.

The point is, before using this technique, we were stuck and not listening to each other because of our strong feelings for our son. Opening up a dialog let my ex understand that our son was all I had in my life and everything I did was based on what was good for our son. He, on the other hand, was married with two more children and in a supportive community and huge family.

Building a Strong Bond: Communicating Love and Support

Good luck with your mom. Clearly, you love her. You should tell her and show her that. Hopefully, she is doing the same for you.

Why Emotional Detachment Is Crucial

That's pretty difficult! Most likely you can't since she's your mother and you're somehow emotionally wired to her. But becoming a 'zen master' should not hurt. Emotional detachment means maintaining your emotional independence while still being empathetic and understanding towards others, especially those you're close to like your mother.

Emotional detachment does not mean disregarding or ignoring your feelings. It's about being able to recognize and acknowledge your emotions, but not letting them control your thoughts and actions. This can be particularly challenging with someone as close as your mother. However, it's a skill that can be developed over time through practice and self-awareness.

Strategies for Emotional Detachment

Here are some strategies that might help you in your journey towards emotional detachment:

Recognize and Label Your Emotions: Name what you're feeling. Are you angry, sad, or frustrated? Labeling your emotions can help you understand and manage them. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness meditation can help you stay present and grounded, rather than getting swept away by your emotions. Set Boundaries: It's important to set clear boundaries to protect your emotional well-being. Communicate your needs to your mother and respect her needs as well. Seek Professional Help: If you're struggling to manage your emotions, consider seeking help from a professional therapist or counselor.

In conclusion, emotional detachment is a complex but essential process in personal growth and healthy relationships. By applying the techniques discussed, you can navigate the challenges of maintaining a strong bond with your mother while also caring for your own emotional health.

It's important to remember that emotional growth and improvement takes time. Be patient with yourself and your mother as you work towards better communication and mutual understanding.

Keywords

Emotional Detachment Mother's Words Mother Son Communication

Conclusion

Your relationship with your mother is uniquely important, and the process of emotional detachment is about strengthening that bond by understanding and managing your emotions. With consistent effort and support, you can foster a healthy and communicative relationship with your mother that thrives despite any emotional challenges.